Monday, 16 January 2017

Funny Retirement Quotes And Messages

Funny Retirement Wishes: Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech? This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about everyone including teachers, professors, doctors, engineers, IT guys, nurses, accountants, business executives or even the friendly oldie working at the neighborhood supermarket. Read them and think of how you can infuse humor in your greetings. Whether it is for your colleagues, bosses, dad, mom, friends or someone in the family – make sure your witty lines put a smile on the new retiree’s face. Don’t forget to share your words on Facebook and Pinterest.



1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Congratulations.



2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Congratulations.



3) The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.



4) Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.



5) After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.

6) Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.





7) Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time? Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now. Wish you a happy retirement.



8) Thankfully, retirement is mandatory and not an option. Otherwise I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you. xoxo



9) Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.



10) Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.

11) Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff. Congratulations.



12) All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.



13) Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.



14) Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.



15) No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.

16) Retirement is just a nice way for your company to say that you are getting too old to work. Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.



17) Doing the things you always wanted to do is not the real challenge of retirement. Remembering them is the real challenge. Good luck at being a forgetful pensioner.



18) Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge toward old age. Good luck.



19) Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension, but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.



20) Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you. Happy retirement.

good morning quotes for her

good morning messages for her

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